


You Shouldn't Be...

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, He doesn't know it but he cares, Hopeful Ending, It doesn't work but he at least gets a date out of it, Logan tries to deal with his feelings by angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Break, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, Patton mention, Remus cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24128353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: After everything that's happened, Logan finds himself drowning in his sadness in the only place that he can really go without having to deal with forced positivity.Remus' side of the imagination.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 310





	1. Chapter 1

It was cold, dark, and dreary in the imagination, rainwater dripped off of Logan’s glasses as he sat huddled up against the trunk of a skeletal tree. It felt like a personal raincloud was hanging over his head, just insistent on pouring water on him and only him, if only to match the mood that he had found himself him at this very moment. Ordinarily, the imagination never looked or even felt like this, but then again… this wasn’t Roman’s side of the imagination that he was at and nor did he want to be there given how everything had gone down at the end of the day. 

At least in Remus’ side of the imagination, he could finally be allowed to wallow in peace without being annoyed by a parade of talking animals desperate to force him into a better mood.

Here… here he could just be sad.

And sad he wanted to say. 

A shudder rolled through him as his lips trembled with all of the tears that he had been repressing for the past… who knows how long. But here, here in the rain, nobody could tell the difference between the water pouring down from the cloud, or the water pouring down from his eyes. That was one blessing he at least had here… It didn’t matter that he was shivering more and more with each passing second, nor that he could actually see his breath right in front of him with each exhale, it didn’t even matter that his toes and fingers had gotten numb. Instead, he just squeezed his legs closer to his chest as he buries his face into his knees, his back shuddering with each silent sob that slipped free from his lips. 

He could still recall the vague dread he felt when he saw Patton’s eyes flickering down to the ‘Skip All’ button, and the borderline horror he felt when the hook of the cane jerked him away from the others by his throat. 

But he couldn’t blame Patton, not without getting all of the others angry at him. 

He couldn’t be angry… not unless he wanted a repeat of what happened after the paper ball incident. He couldn’t tell Patton how disappointed he was in him, having done that without coming off as inherently manipulative about the other’s actions. He couldn’t… say anything. 

So all that was left was sadness, and sadness, funnily enough… could easily be dealt with. 

In one swift movement, before he even knew it. The rain that had been pouring over him rather abruptly stopped, it was still happening if the sound of those wet drops pattering against thin plastic and rolling off was anything to go by, but… something had stopped it. For a moment, just a moment, he kept his face buried in his knees almost dreading having to look up and see just who was there, and who had seen him in this moment of weakness. But then again… he’d been here far too long anyways, he’d spent too long dwelling in his grief that it was starting to become pathetic of him. 

He needed to stop, he needed to get over this just as he did with his anger, with his rage, and with his destructive tendencies. He needed to st-

“Are you… okay?” Remus sounded almost hesitant as he stood there, the rain plastering his hair down to his head the exact instant he had moved the umbrella over the weeping logical side’s shivering and shaking body. “I know you’re all about biology, but finding out how someone would die of hypothermia doesn’t exactly sound like your definition of a good time dorkness.” 

The silence was almost enough to make Remus squirm where he stood, Logan still wasn’t looking at him, and he hadn’t even said anything. 

Was he already unconscious? Should he nudge him with his foot? Where though, his leg, his shoulder, his head, or his ass? Maybe he needed to hit him with the umbrella to get him going again, like an old TV stand. 

A deep inhale pulled at Logan’s body, and just like that he was moving again as he propped his chin up on his knees exhaustedly staring back at the other creative side that stood before him. “You didn’t have to do that,” Logan instead said, very pointedly avoiding the question, “A little rain isn’t going to hurt me, you should use it.” His eyes flicked up to Remus’ plastered down hair and even more to his uniform that was practically soaked, and only getting wetter and wetter. 

“Nah,” Remus snorted as he crouched down, his hand still firmly keeping the umbrella over Logan’s head, as if in pure defiance and nothing else. “I’m used it this… the cold and the rain. You’re not, so you need it more.” Wiggling his hand, Remus offered the umbrella again as he stared back at the strangely silent logical side with a set of raised eyebrows. 

Icy cold fingers numbly wrapped around his, and just like that the worried that he had been attempting to bury upon finding Logan like this shot right back up like a bottle rocket. 

With one swift movement, Logan took the umbrella and without even giving it a single thought… he tilted it over Remus’ head. “You shouldn’t be used to it though,” Uncertainty kept his words soft, but regardless of that, he meant them. Remus shouldn’t be used to the cold, to the rain, or just to any kind of harshness of these elements without someone to help him. It shouldn’t matter what he represented, it wasn’t like any of them could just choose what title they had and it wasn’t like Remus could just choose which twin he turned out to be. “You shouldn’t be…”

An unreadable look reflected back in Remus’ eyes, almost as soon as the rain stopped pouring down over his head. 

“You’re funny,” Remus muttered, his hand moving forward to swipe off a droplet that clung to the end of Logan’s nose, before gingerly poking it with a crooked smile. “Why don’t you come back to my place, hmm? Get you dried off, and I can show you to dissect one of my Sundown Nostril Beasts?” With his index finger, Remus pushed the center of Logan’s glasses up onto his face back from where they had just been about to fall off. He absolutely did not understand any of these mushy nasty feelings that were going on in his stomach, that felt more like writhing worms than anything. But he did know… that having Logan leave, like this more than anything… felt wrong. “Sound like fun?” 

A tiny… itsy bitty smile rewarded him, in fact, it was more like a lifting of the corners of Logan’s lips. But it was, in fact, something, and it was leagues better, than the tears he had seen… and heard coming from Logan before. 

“Yeah,” Logan gripped the umbrella tight, although he doubted that he’d need it for much longer given how the rain was starting to let up just the slightest. He had a feeling that by the time that they got started… neither of them would need it anymore. “It does sound like fun. 


	2. Chapter 2

“What were you doing down there?” 

Logan visibly fought the urge to flinch at the accusatory voice that assaulted him the moment that he stepped through the door that led from the dark mindspace. The light that clicked on stung his eyes, he had been down there for so long he had gotten used to the dim lighting and his eyes had more than adjusted to it. Everything around him felt blinding, like he should shy away from it and go back to the shows that he had just left. 

Still, irritation pricked his insides like wildfire, and so without even offering Roman an answer, he attempted to shoulder his way past him. It was more than late, and he had a lot of stuff to do in the morning, and so very little time to prepare for all of it let alone schedule for it. 

“Logan,” Roman’s terse voice snapped again, “Don’t ignore me! What were you doing?!” Like a viper, his hand struck, gripping Logan’s arm and preventing him from so much as taking another step away from their inevitable conversation. His grip was like iron, although his expression rather screamed fear and uncertainty rather than the annoyance he had come to expect from the creative side when it involved him. “Why were you down there Logan… talk to me.” 

A rough snort left Logan before he could even think to stop it, “Oh I’m sorry, I thought that you would rather my dialogue be optional.” He snapped, the words laced with venom as he gave his arm a rough jerk. “And here I was doing exactly that for you… sparing you my comments.” 

Roman’s hand jerked away as if he had just been burned by the white-hot coals of a burning fire. 

“Logan…” 

His voice was terribly small, and uncharacteristically soft. 

Not at all like the overdramatic prince that unsheathed his sword at every opportunity when it came to saving one of them from some dastardly monster. This, however… this was a monster of Roman’s own making, and they both knew that well enough, and the things that Roman had done in the past hadn’t really been made up for yet. Even now, even now Logan could still recall every single thing that Roman had said about him and his contributions, he could still remember that Roman meant all of them when he had said them. Then again…

He had said awful things to Roman as well. 

“I’m just worried,” Roman’s hand curled back against his chest, before he casually went to run his fingers through his hair. As if letting go of Logan was his own choice, and not done out of shock or hurt. “My brother isn’t exactly the kind of person you should be hanging around… he’s hurt you before. And Dec… Janus…” Roman’s lips twisted, and his knee bounced up and down. “I don’t know okay… I’m just worried about you.” He softly admitted, casting his eyes down to the floor so that he wouldn’t have to meet Logan’s fierce stare that wasn’t backing down one little bit. 

It didn’t escape Logan, and it didn’t escape Roman’s attention that he had just ignored Logan’s outburst of emotions. They both knew that he was correct. Roman had said that he wanted Logan’s input to be optional, and that was yet another thing that he couldn’t rewind the clock and take back. 

It was yet another mistake. 

Yet another thing that had made him the bad guy in Logan’s eyes. 

“I was having fun,” The words were practically exhaled from Logan’s lips, and Roman’s head snapped back up at them. A momentary flash… no more than a glimpse of hurt echoed in Roman’s eyes at this, “I was having fun, something that I seem to be dearly missing out on when I am here with you and everyone else.” The words were true, and Logan meant every last one. He would say it again too, even if Thomas and Patton were here and even if they seemed horrified by what he had to say. He wouldn’t apologize for this truth, and he would never take it back. 

Pain and agony lanced across Roman’s heart as he felt the distance between him and Logan growing even greater than before. Peering into the shadows of Logan’s eyes, he could feel nothing but pain and guilt. 

Roman thickly swallowed, “Oh…” He softly whispered, his nails clutching the fabric of his uniform right over his heart, he could feel it thumping against his ribcage. “I… I…” Even his bones felt like they were trembling, even though he could tell that he was standing perfectly still. “You’re probably tired then, huh?” The laugh he forced out was just as painful as the agony on the inside. “I’m sorry… for keeping you then.” The smile that he forced on his face felt like a wax painting that had been set for too long. 

There was nothing that he could do now. 

“Yes,” Logan straightened his back, taking a step away from Roman. That one step was nothing in comparison to the chasm that the creative side felt growing more and more with each second. “I’m sorry too… for making you worry about nothing.” 

With a stiff nod, Logan turned away his hand trailing up the railing as he made his way to his bedroom. 

Leaving Roman behind in the darkness of the living room.

The gentle click of Logan’s door shutting was all it took to break the dam that had been building and building inside of Roman. As his knees crumpled under him and his hand clapped over his mouth, a vain effort to stop the wail that had sat perched in his chest since he’d had his talk with Patton. The tears that streamed down his face burned, like hot ashes sticking to his face and refusing to leave no matter how desperately he rubbed at them. His chest heaved, and just like that the sobs broke loose like a tidal wave being unleashed onto land.

“I’m.. I’m sorry!” He openly weeped into his hands, although there was no one around to hear his apologies. “I’m so sorry!” He repeated, “I’ve failed.. I’ve failed.. I’ve failed! I know that! Just tell me how I can make it better! Tell me how I can take back everything, and make you love me again! Please! I’m sorry! Please!” Gripping at his hair, Roman could only cry and cry, into the silence of the living room. Desperately wishing that these words had come to him when Logan had been standing before him, or even before then when he had the chance to take back every way that he had slighted him or the others. 

But there was no winding back time, there was only the future.

And the things he had done to it. 

What was he going to do though? What was there to do? How on earth could he possibly make this… their relationship any better than the mess that it was right now? How could he make Logan ever look at him, and not have that massive chasm between them. 

“Good, now trying saying all of that in front of Logan instead of just being a willy.” Remus’ voice piped up being him, and Roman was almost certain that he snapped something in his neck with how fast he jerked his head to look over at his brother. 

“What?” He asked, shame and humiliation in his voice as he desperately attempted to wipe his tears away with the wet sleeve of his shirt. It wasn’t really working all that well, but he had to get some kind of credit for trying. “When did you… how long have you been here?!” 

Remus gave a simple shrug, “Since you grabbed dorkness, instead of letting him leave.” And just like that, yet another stellar example as to how Roman had fucked up in the past twenty-four hours. “But,” The other creativity tossed a box of tissues at Roman’s face, only partially caring if his brother caught them in the first place. “I’ve learned that nothing heals better than a good apology, so work on that. And you should be…” Remus’ nose scrunched up a little. “Well not golden, but maybe silver or bronze.” 

Roman fumbled with the tissue box as soon as it was thrown at him, but plucking a few out he dabbed at his wet tearstained face clearing of the evidence of his tears. 

For a moment there was nothing but silence between them, as Remus wiggled in place. Clearly more than a little uncomfortable about having such a… genuine moment between the two of them. 

“Then,” Roman paused for a second as he struggled to stand up again, “I’m sorry, Remus for… everything. Since the moment we’ve been separated, I.. I should have fought harder for you to be included, and I should have cared more about what happened to you. But I didn’t, and that’s on me. So… I’m sorry.” He honestly said, making a point to somewhat meet Remus’ eyes, as he looked back at his twin brother. “I mean it.”

A soft exhale from Remus was his only answer, as if his words actually took the air right out of his brother’s lungs. 

“I know.”


End file.
